I have been rolling the concept of "letting go" around in my mind for months and have been attempting to put it into practice over the last couple weeks.
In one of my meditations before the Holiday, an answer to a personal query came to light - it was simple, but had a deep and profound impact upon me:
Let go of the problem. You have done what is necessary, it is no longer in your court. Remove yourself from the eye of the storm, being there does not serve you. You are flying high, do not descend.
When I completed my meditation, I felt... Lighter. Stronger. Aware. Confident. The path had revealed itself to me and walking it has felt as easy as breathing.
However, I was not prepared for how easy it has been and the lack of struggle has made me feel guilty - like I wasn’t actually invested in this situation, and I know that I was. Subsequently, I have focused on forgiving myself for choosing to do what’s best for me. And I’m not going to sugar coat it - the process of forgiveness has been very hard and at times taxing. Each moment I feel low or get down on myself, I take a breath to remind my ego that this problem is out of my control. I am confident that I am doing the best I can and if I allow myself to wade into the drama, I will ultimately be distracting myself from my goals.
By doing the work required to overcome this obstacle, I know my baby steps will pave the road of a journey that I am proud of... in time.
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